Relationships are as individual as the men who live them. The balancing act required to maintain personal evolution AND personal security is a paradox that we can never solve. Instead, we straddle these opposing needs, and learn to enrich our relationships as we learn to communicate openly about them. Both monogamy and nonmonogamy present unique challenges and unique benefits. Many men wonder how to create non monogamous relationships that enjoy the security of monogamy while encouraging the evolution of outside sexual exploration. We believe that the answer to this riddle lies in our intentional, cultivated abilities to communicate openly, expose our vulnerabilities, name our desires, and create opportunities to enjoy them that will, at the same time, enrich our connections with boyfriends and partners.